ast week I nearly got used to iTunes. I almost figured out how to manipulate the songs into play lists etc, on my 4th Gen iPod Nano. I say ‘nearly’ because approximately 3 hours and no breakfast later, I hurled the iPod at the lounge (I just painted the wall) and threatened to sell it if it didn’t behave. Then I cursed very loudly and in a way the Road Workers down the street would be impressed with, turned off my PC (the naughty way, without logging off!!! just to show how angry I was) and huffed upstairs to get a coffee. I wanted scotch but it was only 11.30 in the morning. … More STOP!! My brain’s still turning at 33.3 rpm
Baggy pants + underwear fashion. I have one word for it …………… WHY??? I don’t WANT to see your pasty arse or your dirty laundry – so cover the hell UP! … More Bum crack down
She: Look in the mirror at the back of thighs for signs of cellulite. Sigh Examine your face wrinkles. Sigh, and scrabble around in your ‘creams’ drawer to find that Caffeine infused Intensive Anti-Aging, Antioxident, Clinically Proven, No Animal Testing, Illuminating, Soothing, Black Tea Gel, Anti-Wrinkle Cream to apply after the shower…..
He:Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your guts to see if you have abs. No. Decide that’s OK because you gotta enjoy yourself sometime, right? Should get some more of that chilli beef jerky. That puts on muscle. Admire the size of your …………..biceps in the mirror and scratch your bum…….. … More How Men Shower v Women Shower
The new High Schoolers at my son’s College got a day at school by themselves, yesterday, before the rest of the rabble joined them. This is probably because half of them were crapping their pants and the other half balling up a fist to wipe away un-manly tears -and they definitely didn’t want witnesses. … More First Day of Tortu….um…High School
If Donald Trump could apply the same impenetrable force to his borders, as Teen 1 and Teen 2 put up when I’m talking, the Mexicans wouldn’t have a chance. … More The Things I say (to a brick wall)
You are going to help your child buy his first car? If you’re like me you want him to have a Hummer or maybe a Sherman Tank. He wants a Californian Moke, an Army surplus Jeep or maybe a 1969 Corvette Stingray. Our wishlists are polar opposites. I’m the WORST parent to take car-shopping.
Contrary to political correctness my ‘smacking hand’ gets very twitchy this time of year when I begin to hear the refrain….”I haven’t got anything to do…” Instead of using the electric cattle prod, (which was my first idea)….perhaps try these – … More The “I’m Bored” Backhander (or A Guide to School Holiday Woes 101)