That moment when you would LOVE a Florida-style sink hole to open up under your feet and swallow you into the bowels of the earth. Just where you belong. CRINGE~~~~!! … More My BAD! Cringe moments…
She: Look in the mirror at the back of thighs for signs of cellulite. Sigh Examine your face wrinkles. Sigh, and scrabble around in your ‘creams’ drawer to find that Caffeine infused Intensive Anti-Aging, Antioxident, Clinically Proven, No Animal Testing, Illuminating, Soothing, Black Tea Gel, Anti-Wrinkle Cream to apply after the shower…..
He:Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your guts to see if you have abs. No. Decide that’s OK because you gotta enjoy yourself sometime, right? Should get some more of that chilli beef jerky. That puts on muscle. Admire the size of your …………..biceps in the mirror and scratch your bum…….. … More How Men Shower v Women Shower
I’m just sayin’, they’re VERY quiet whoever they are, as individuals or as a sector of the population. They maybe smugly going about their misogynistic business of disrespecting their women and spitting at immigrants, or maybe they’re the narcissistic nouveau elite – suddenly power charged and hungry for revenge on the Taxation system and Fair Trade, ….or maybe they’re the undead, I mean unread, the ones who, zombie-like, just follow the rantings of the nearest bunch of sheep. … More So who voted for him, then?????
If Donald Trump could apply the same impenetrable force to his borders, as Teen 1 and Teen 2 put up when I’m talking, the Mexicans wouldn’t have a chance. … More The Things I say (to a brick wall)
Did anyone actually BUY the foecally named Daihatsu Scat? I bet they were all poo brown. The rolling advertisement “Here I am, a piece of Sh– on wheels!” … More Car names are Stupid.
They could fly my Fat Pants off the Sydney Harbour Bridge and ships could see them out to sea. NASA could lay my Fat Pants on the tarmac as a marker for re-entry from space. If World Vision had my Fat Pants they could probably clothe and entire third world nation with the fabric. So said my brain. … More The Fat Pants Predicament
120 hours of knuckle-whitening, hair greying, headache inducing exasperation. Teaching my teenager to drive. … More The Learner Driver Exasperation